As a close friend of a newly engaged woman, it’s natural to feel the excitement along with her. Naturally, bridesmaid do’s & don’t are the least idea to cross your mind and we understand it. How can think of your responsibilities when you’re still elated and giddy over the upcoming wedding? Well, you can jump and screech all day and you’d probably find it hard to move on from the excitement but sooner or later, you’ll find yourself asking the things you should and should not do.
If it is your first time being a bridesmaid, being lost at actions is expected. So first thing you need to know is how being one is not all fun and excitement but it also comes with certain obligations and responsibilities. To perform your role perfectly, we’ve rounded up some of the things you need to know to sort your bridesmaid duties.
Bridesmaid Do’s & Don’t
Do: Know That Being a Brides Comes With a Lot of Responsibilities
While being a bridesmaid sure comes with a lot of fun, you have to know it’s going to be an important role. From pre-wedding preparation up to the actual day, you have to be with the bride one call away. You have to prepare to spend time, energy and money for months prior to the big day. Allot time and look how the bride’s appointments can squeeze into your calendar. Whether it’s a surprise bachelorette party, wedding dress fitting or assisting guests on the big day, you’ll have to act the part.
Don’t: Over Do It
Okay, so you’ve set your expectations and how much participation you have in the celebration but you have to remember not to cross boundaries. Keep in mind the this is the biggest and ultimate day for the bride so her opinions should be respected. Don’t spoil it by being too demanding about the dress, activities, hair and makeup etc. Moreover, don’t give unsolicited advice unless asked otherwise. Instead, if you have any request or suggestion, try to approach in a polite way. Besides, it’s totally okay to open up about how pricey the expenses are or how uncomfortable you are with the dress. Just simply raise your concerns in a relaxed and non-confrontational tone.
Do: Be Ready to Provide Financial Assistance
Another bridesmaid do’s you have to expect is offering some cash. Although brides generally provide their fair share of expenses, inevitably, you’ll still have to pay costs for your dress, shoes, hair and makeup. In addition to that, be prepared to chip in during the bachelorette party or bridal shower as well.
To prevent stressing out over last-minute costs, we suggest giving a budget for being a bridesmaid. Gradually put money your money aside after accepting the bridesmaid duty. There’s no harm to ask the bride about how much should expect shelling out.
Don’t: Be Afraid Mentioning Your Opinion About The Budget
This topic can be very sensitive but you still have to keep the bride in mind. The moment you agreed to be one of her bridesmaids, you also accepted the fact that all the final decisions will depend on her. Taking that into account, don’t be afraid to voice out your opinions especially if you find some costs too much from what you can afford. The bride will surely understand and can make some adjustments for you.
Do: Organize a Memorable Send-Off or Bachelorette Party
One of the most exciting parts of being a bridesmaid is being invited to a bachelorette party and bridal shower. Typically, these pre-wedding get together celebrations are organized by the maid of honour but it doesn’t mean you can’t be involved throughout the process. Besides, the MOH would definitely need a helping hand. You can find a lot of inspiration on Pinterest for the theme and style so you’ll never run out of ideas.
Don’t: Let THings Go Overboard
Although a bachelorette party and a bridal shower can be so fun, don’t get too drunk and lose control. You don’t want to stress out the bride and look plump and hungover days or weeks before the wedding. Accidents are also prone when you had too much to drink which can affect how you or the bride look.
Do: Avoid Conflicts or Misunderstandings with Other Bridesmaids
As we get too hyped up, the drama can increase along too. Being at a party or wherever part of the ceremony with a lot of emotional girls can lead to misunderstanding or argument. You wouldn’t want to garner the attention of the other guests, let alone cause stress to the bride. After all, you’ve been chosen as one of the bridesmaids because you played a huge role in the bride’s life but you have to understand that there are other ladies who became part of her journey and best believe she wants you all to get along well.
Do: Offer Emotional Support
Marriage is the biggest change and transition to any woman and man’s life. This can get overwhelming and could result in overflowing emotions. She could feel last-minute blues and anxiousness and it’s your job to make her feel better and offer your shoulder to cry on.
Don’t: Be the Cause of Stress
When it comes to wedding preparations, the bride has a lot on her plate. That’s why finding a day and time when all of her girls can get together is a difficult feat to achieve. With this, show her the respect she deserves by arriving on time, remaining active and present, and remaining until the conclusion. You may be quite busy and have a lot on your plate, but when it comes to the bride, put everything else aside to be as supportive and helpful as possible.
Do: Dress Up Nicely
Shop for the best bridesmaid dress but don’t forget to choose one that goes along with the theme of the wedding. Of course, your hair and makeup should also match the occasion. In addition to that, make sure you wear comfortable footwear.
Don’t: Buy Too Skimpy Outfits Thinking You’ll Lose More Weight
When girls see a dress they seem fit for the occasion, no matter how snug it is they still purchase it. They tend to think that they can lose weight before the wedding to fit in the dress comfortably. While others can do so, not everyone can put up with the discipline required. So, instead of assuming you can into your purchase, try going for the best fit. Once you lose weight in the coming months, it’s easier to alter the dress.
Do: Put the Bride Before You
The wedding day is the ultimate day for the bride. But this also includes the process prior to that. You’ll be required to drop everything if a problem develops that she needs your assistance with. These include paying a lot of money and patience that will be tested. So, whatever difficulties you face throughout this period, keep in mind that this day is all about the bride and if your wedding hasn’t happened yet, you’ll know that she’ll be doing the same thing for you one day. Take a deep breath, embrace your inner zen, and be ready with the phrase “Of course!” when things get tough and you feel like ripping her head off.
Don’t: Question Why You’re Not Her Maid of Honor
Remember that this wedding is not about you. While you’re BFFs and she was your maid of honour in your wedding, she might choose her sister or cousin over you. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t see you worthy of the privilege but instead could be something you’re entirely aware of. For this reason, respect the bride’s decision and express your delight at being a part of the momentous day. And, you could think of it this way: you’ll be doing less work!
Do: Take Part in Pre-Wedding Events
As mentioned, bridesmaids have a lot of roles to take. It’s not all about dressing up nicely and showing up during wedding prep appointments but also being part of the actual planning and organizing, unless, you’re living out of town. No one expects you to fly or drive hours from your home to the appointment so you’re good. However, you live somewhere near, try your best to be there every time.
Don’t: Compare Her Wedding Over Others
No one wants to feel compared especially on the wedding day. Maybe it could start with comparing rings from you or other girls you know, or maybe the dress she picks out or the theme she decided to go for. Again, remember this is HER day and it’s all up to her. Besides, not a single woman is the same when it comes to personality so what seems not good for you would be the best for her.
Do: Keep Sight of Your Friendship
Wedding planning tends to bring out both the best and worst in individuals. Nobody likes a bridezilla, but you must remember that your friendship is far more valuable than an unattractive bridesmaid’s gown. Even the most difficult situations can be overcome with a few deep breaths and a little perspective.
Don’t: Talk About Any of Her Exes
Weddings are about the future, not the past. Don’t bring up anything that is far left behind specifically exes, regardless of how long it has been. It’s also a sign of respect for the husband, so avoid mentioning any names even for laughs.
Both the bride and the bridesmaids are looking forward to this special day! Make sure to have fun at all of the wedding events and festivities, and don’t take yourself too seriously. While the bride wants her wedding to be perfect, it is your responsibility to ensure that she has a good time instead of being stressed out. Make it a priority to do something fun if you’re feeling stressed or impatient, whether it’s getting the girls together for happy hour or heading to the spa.