Funny Wedding Vow Examples

Weddings are a happy time to celebrate love and happiness. Most people become preoccupied with planning the reception, styling of the venue, and making sure the dress is as grand as can be. However, the ceremony remains to be the most important part of the whole day. Entering a marriage is an important commitment that you as a couple enter together. The vows happen during the ceremony and this is where the promise of spending the rest of your lives together takes place.

Writing down vows can be an overwhelming task. It would be best to have one that reflects your relationship, personality, and love. You’re supposed to be marrying the person you want to spend your life with, your best friend, add a little sense of humor to lighten the atmosphere. Incorporating funny lines into your wedding vows can make the whole room connect to your story easier while making your significant other and your guests laugh with you.

We’ve gathered some of the funniest wedding vow examples to give you inspiration for yours. You can incorporate some of these lines into what you’ve already written to inject some humor into your ceremony. Get ready for tears of joy and laughter as you celebrate the best day of your life.

Emblaze Photography
Photo by: Emblaze Photography


  • I hope to be the only people we can stand at a cocktail party forever.
  • I want us to grow old and crusty together, to shake our collective fists at teenagers, and to talk endlessly about the old days when things were better, cheaper, and generally more wholesome.
  • Let’s be dumb together—just plain stupid. Make bad choices, eat the wrong things, take wrong turns, and then let’s tell great stories, the same ones—forever and ever until no one can stand us but each other


  • I promise to unclog the tub, even though you are the only one of us with long hair.
  • I promise to hold off secretly watching episodes of *whatever TV show we are watching together until we are actually together.
  • I promise to always respect your choice of music in the car when you are driving. If you are not driving, however…
  • I vow to wash if you’ll dry, just so we can be together in the kitchen, laughing, all night – every night.
  • I promise to take Instagram-worthy photos of you anywhere and everywhere.


  • I promise that as your wife, I will not keep score, even though I am totally winning.
  • I love your stupid face and vow that I will put up with whatever you can throw at me – if you think you can put up with my mess.
  • I vow to laugh, for real, at your every joke no matter how stupid or poorly told. I love you that much.


  • A pair of penguins mate for life, across hundreds of miles of tundra, the female penguin travels to bring food to the male, as he watches the egg over a month of sub-zero temperatures. As your husband, I promise never to ask you to do anything like that.
  • This ring is a symbol of how you’ve got me wrapped around your finger.
  • I, (insert your name), take you (insert fiancé’s name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, for even poorer when I’ve been shopping, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
  • I promise to buy taller shoes so you can wear heels.


  • I vow to protect you from spiders as long as we both shall live.
  • I promise to trust you to kill any insect that threatens my life.
  • I vow to have slippers ready to swat a flying cockroach out of your way.


There is no right or wrong way when it comes to wedding vows. There are very personal to you and your significant other. We hope some of these helped you or gave you an idea as to how you can include some witty and funny lines to your own.





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